Archive for the ‘birth’ tag
Jake’s birth story from dad’s point of view
Day 0 — 03:36
<B> Wakes up with some "more serious" contractions; wakes me up, too (not on purpose). I can't really get back to sleep, but I do get a bit more rest.
We spend the day running errands, including a "Non-Stress Test" (NST). This test ensures the baby is "healthy." No issues here, he's strong.
Day 1 — 20:00
Something's happening. "Soft" contractions 5 minutes apart. <B> tries a glass of wine and lies down, but things don't slow down. She takes a "relaxing" shower.
Day 2 — 01:00
I call the midwife. I suspect she'll fall back asleep–it seems "like her" to me. Really, we are calling earlier than we need to, but I need the reassurance.
Day 2 — 02:00
I call the midwife. As I suspected: asleep. It's O.K., we have time.
Day 2 — 02:35
Midwife shows up. Essentially tells <B> she needs to get some rest. <B> tries, doesn't do a great job, but the midwives (the helper showed up, too) and I got a few hours of "rest."
Day 2 — 05:00ish?
It's the start of a long morning. <B> tries to get "comfortable" in different places; generally no, luck.
Day 2 — 10:00ish?
<B> is DONE. She thinks she's ready to go to the hospital for an epidural. I go talk to the midwives. I think she just needs a pep-talk.
We talk it over, <B> is tired, tired, tired. Midwife makes a joke about Starbucks; but this gets me thinking "OK, yeah, diet Coke has caffeine! Maybe that will make a difference?". I go get her a diet Coke.
Midwives do a cervix check to see "where we're at". 4-5 cm, closer to 4 than 5. I was woried this would be a mental set back, but it wasn't.
[NOTE: One of the midwives later suggests mothers may need to get this worn out to enable their bodies to relax. Interesting idea and their might be some merit to it.]
Day 2 — 10:25
It's enough and we are back on track, all discussion of hospitals the done. From here on out it's rock/swivel (in the office chair), walk, pee, repeat.
Day 2 — 12:40
<B> gets in the tub to "relax". She's there for about 1.5 hours before the midwives begin to suggest she does something else. It takes a half hour more before she's convinced.
Day 2 — 14:50
<B> stands up in the tub to "see what happens", I support her. She begins to have a few harder contractions. They come a little closer together.
Day 2 — not keeping track of time anymore
We walk and walk around on the bathroom tile (it's a huge bathroom; huge; really big) until her water breaks. The "waters" are clear: good sign. I refill the tub (the tub is fairly large, also). Then we walk a little more. Then <B> has another cervix check, but things aren't progressing so well, so they do the check DURING a contraction. Yuck, looks uncomfortable. We rest a little on the bed, then all of a sudden the boy is crowning. We get in the tub (me first, then <B>; I am holding her such that she is secure: head above water and with my knees to press on) and not 10 minutes later <B> has the little guy in her arms.
That's the story, from my point of view.
I left a few things out, things like eating and drinking (I made sure <B> always had something to drink and brought her snacks as frequently as I could get her to eat them) and trips to the toilet (of which <B> made many).
This experience was amazing — I would not want to do it any other way. We ate and dank when we wanted and had the wonderful comforts of our home. This is where healthy babies of healthy moms are meant to be born!
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin is one heck of a useful book for either parent. After reading it, I was generally educated enough to be comfortable "doing my part" (which of course was very little).
Jake’s birth story
Friday 5:00 pm – reflexology session
Saturday 3:30 am – contractions start/nesting
Saturday 11 pm – glass of wine/bedtime
Sunday 1:30 am – early labor kicks up – contractions too frequent and noticeable to sleep through. I try to go back to sleep for a couple hours, but it’s not working. I get up at 3:30 and put veggie soup I’d previously made and frozen into the crockpot for labor sustenance.
Sunday 8 am – we call midwife to give her heads up. Early labor putzes along. Too uncomfortable to leave house. Lots of resting trying to conserve energy for long haul, but can’t sleep.
Sunday 11 pm – labor intensifies; glass of wine doesn’t work. Even though my contractions are still spaced around 5-6 minutes apart, I’m in active labor, vocalizing through the contractions. Sleep is not going to work. Scott calls midwife. She decides to come over – will rest/sleep at our house as much as she can.
Spaced out contractions is a typical labor pattern for me. Worse yet, I have to stay active to keep them at a reasonable frequency. If I sit in even the smallest bit of a reclined position, get in the tub or lie down then the contractions spread out even more – as much as 8-10 minutes apart.
Monday – My midwife (S) and her assistant (J) arrive around 2 am. They had been at another birth earlier in the day and haven’t had much sleep either the past couple nights. Upon assessing my status, my midwife recommends that we all try and get some rest until morning. I’m frustrated that lying down will space out my contractions and I won’t be able to sleep anyway, but I also know that I am TIRED and still have a long way to go. I haven’t had a cervix check at this point, but I know I’m 4-5 cm max. based on my past labors.
S gives me some great advice at this point – she suggests that if my contractions are slowing down when I lie down that my body is giving me an opportunity to rest and conserve energy and I might want to take advantage of it. Even though my contractions are getting pretty powerful, she advises me to do my best to relax through them, knowing that I’ll only have 4-6 minutes like that per hour to endure and the rest of the time I can rest/drowse, maybe even get a little sleep. I took her advice and adopted this strategy for the next 3-4 hours. It worked! My labor slowed down to contractions every 10-15 minutes. They were hard ones – I was vocalizing very loudly. I didn’t really get any sleep, but I got just enough rest to help me power through the morning.
Monday 5 am – Let’s get this party started. I’m done with this lying in bed and moaning thing. I can hear the girls getting up and ready for school with help from Scott’s mom. Maybe I will have a baby brother for them to meet by the time they get home!
All through this, Scott has been very attentive to my needs – especially making sure I’m staying fed and hydrated. Now things are starting to pick up, though – in intensity, if not in frequency – and I find myself seeking more physical support to get through contractions. He’s there for me. Wonderful man.
I’m having a VERY difficult time finding a comfortable position. I could manage the contractions really well in the glider rocker, but it slowed labor down significantly. I’m just way too tired to walk for 5 minutes between contractions or maintain my posture on the birth ball. I found that if I perched on the edge of my office chair with pillows behind me for support I could handle the contractions pretty effectively (especially with sacral counterpressure from Scott) and they didn’t slow down too much. I tried alternating that with some walking and that was a reasonable way to manage it all for a couple hours or so.
Monday 11 am (Where Diet Coke saves me from a repeat cesarean)
I announce that I’m done. I can hardly keep my eyes open and I feel SO discouraged. Nothing seems to be progressing; I’m just in this incredibly tedious holding pattern and I don’t have the energy to cope anymore – let alone kick up my activity to help accelerate the pace of the contractions. All I want to do at this point is be done with labor so I can sleep, sleep, sleep. Epidural, I say to Scott. Let’s go.
He suggests we discuss our options with the midwives. Maybe I need a pep talk? I said, just so long as you know you have to support me in whatever I want to do next. And understand that I’ve already thought this through. I know the risks. He said, You’ll most likely have a cesarean (true, because my labor is progressing WAY too slowly by hospital standards, an epidural would slow it down more, and since I’m a VBAC my doctor would be *very* unwilling to augment with Pitocin). I said, I’m not sure I care. At least I won’t feel contractions anymore.
All of this is, by the way, a repeat of my last labor. I gave up in the middle, too, and needed a pep talk/coaching to get back on track.
So the midwives suggested a cervix check so I could make the most informed decision. I consented – especially since I knew I’d have to get one at the hospital anyway. They were excited to see that I was a “very stretchy” 6-7 cm dilated and 100% effaced. Baby was +1. Membranes bulging. I guess my labors are putzy, but the
y DO get the job done. Eventually.
But I was still so TIRED. I was having a tough time imagining that I had the mental and physical resources to manage transition unmedicated. At the same time, I was trying to imagine all the nightmare of being processed at the hospital and how many hours were in store before I’d get any pain relief. And then there was that huge looming risk that hospital most likely meant surgery. And I really wasn’t on board for that – not yet.
Semi-jokingly, J suggested that I have some caffeine. Couldn’t hurt, right? A soda actually sounded good to me and anyway as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Scott was on his way to prepare me a Diet Coke. I ended up having two. 
What a difference it made! I was still pretty darn tired, but it gave me a mental alertness I was desperate for. It helped me with coping as I moved into transition.
Speaking of which, I lose track of time right about here. I get into the tub for a couple hours where I can relax through contractions pretty effectively. This is taking FOREVER. S checks me – I’m 7-8 cm, membranes bulging less. She suggests it’s time to get out of the tub and walk around a bit. I glare at her. She suggested I stand in the tub with Scott supporting me for a few contractions and if I can’t stand it, then I can sit back down in the water. I attempt that. Wow – the contractions bunch right up. I’m feeling out of control. I plop back down in the water. Contractions space back out. I can handle this better.
Unfortunately, this is taking forever. Another check. Not much progress – they start thinking that my sitting position is impeding progress and suggest some side lying in the tub or on the bed. I try it in the tub for awhile and it’s too uncomfortable. Finally I am just resolved. I have GOT to get this over with and I know what I have to do. The midwives look a little shocked to see me getting out of the tub.
So now I walk. I try to squat during contractions, but it’s hard. I start feeling pushy during contractions, but not the real “urge to push.” I get another check. 8-9 cm – gah! Why is this taking so bloody long?? Walk, walk, walk. Lean on my strong man during contractions. It seems like a million contractions later and FINALLY my water breaks. I didn’t think it ever would, but then again I was totally expecting it soon on some level because at this point I confined my pacing to the tiled bathroom so I didn’t sploosh all over my lovely bedroom carpeting.
Another check – still only 9 cm. Shoot me now. I was lying on the bed and didn’t want to get up. I needed a little break. But surprise! Next contraction I felt the urge to push. The midwives said that it was okay to do it as long as I didn’t push more than what my body needed to do. I pushed and could feel his head moving past my pubic bone. I’ve never noticed that sensation before – amazing!
We discussed moving to the tub for the birth, but before I could verbalize my choice to be in the tub, another contraction hit and I was astounded, “Ring of fire!” I said. Holy cow, the boy was crowning after only two contractions. We hastened to the tub. Scott stripped to his underwear and got in behind me. Two more contractions and Jake’s head was out. One more contraction and he was born. 40 hours from the beginning of early labor; 18.5 hours of active labor and 11 minutes of pushing. Amazing. I’ve been saying that once my uterus opened the door, he just rather fell out!
Introducing Baby Jake (FINALLY born 42w1d)
Jackson (Jake) Scott
Born: August 6, 2007, 5:21 pm
Weight 8 lbs, length 19 3/4 inches.
Successful home waterbirth: 40 hours to get from 2cm to 10 cm (!!!) – and then 10 min of pushing. Scott was an AMAZING birth partner. I'm so proud of him. 
Good nurser right from the first minutes.
Birth story and more pix later.
PS: He coos when he cries – it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
Baby Jake, due July 22; arriving sometime in August
Pregnancy notes : : Belly : : Ultrasounds : : Birth : : Baby gear
Pregnancy: Week 42
…and I think baby will be here soon.
Just snapped a 42 week belly pic. Not the greatest quality, but that's what you get at 4 am between contractions.
Yesterday, starting around 3:30 am – 3-5 contractions per hour all day. Lots of show.
VERY busy day – had company in the morning, went out to lunch, had NST, then went shopping at mall with Scott to get a few school clothes. THEN, omg, purged and sorted HM and Mir's clothes. I don't know why I finally got around to this chore I've been procrastinating on for months, but hurrah, it's done.
Had a yummy dinner (thanks to Scott's mama!) Watched TV for awhile in the evening while sitting on birth ball. Contractions starting coming more regularly, somewhat more intense – about 10 minutes apart.
Had a glass of wine, went to bed at 11 am hoping to catch a few hours of sleep.
Contractions woke me up at 1 am. Continuing show. Between 1-3 am they went from about 8-10 min apart to about 5 min apart. Tried to go back to sleep. Too much discomfort. Got up, got some stuff out of freezer (vegetable soup for crock pot, banana bread), started a load of kid laundry left over from yesterday's project. Started typing this post between contractions and timing them:
Time Duration Frequency
03:24:56 am 03:25:57 am 1 mins, 1 secs 3 mins, 40 secs
03:21:14 am 03:22:05 am 50 secs 3 mins, 55 secs
03:17:19 am 03:18:20 am 1 mins, 0 secs 3 mins, 33 secs
03:13:45 am 03:14:33 am 47 secs
They have spaced out a bit again since that bout, but damn they are even more uncomfortable. I'd like to try to get a little more sleep, but I fear this is just gonna be a long, tiring day. Hopefully there is a babe in arms somewhere along the way…
Maybe baby… eventually?
As I mentioned in last night's post, on the recommendation of my OB (who incorporates eastern healing techniques into her practice), I had a reflexology session yesterday evening to try and stimulate some labor. Around 3:30 am, I started having some attention-getting contractions. And they didn't go away when I got up and pursued other activities! They have continued since then at a rate of 4-5 per hour. I can't read through these ones! And I've also been steadily producing some pink-tinged show since then. Yay for glop!
If my other two spontaneous labors are predicative, this is the very, very beginning for me – based on my history with them I would expect the pace of this to slowly but steadily pick up over the next day or two. I think we'll be meeting Jake as early as tomorrow or maybe Monday or Tuesday. I've been debating adding some cohoshes to the mix today, but I'm thinking at this point there's no real need to rush things along.
I'm supposed to have another NST sometime today, too. I think I'll just walk, rest and sit on the birth ball a lot today… and I'm trying to find something to bake (I think that's how I nest, I made cheesecake-filled cupcakes last Sunday, Heath bar cookies on Thursday and banana bread yesterday. What can I make today??)
I'm pretty sure it won't be today, but I feel ever more at peace to see things starting to move along.
Pregnancy progress: He’s an August baby
Well, no July babe for me. Today I'm 41w3d. But I feel in loads better shape mentally after my midwife appointment last night. The appointment was actually scheduled for tonight, but I called her and asked if I could see her a day early.
1. I wanted a cervix check.
2. I badly needed a pep talk.
She came over and hung out with us for 2.5 hours! It was exactly what I needed.
(By the way, at my last OB appointment the doctor spent – at most – 5 minutes with me and didn't even touch me – the physician's assistant in training did all the measuring and checking for fetal heart tones and she didn't even palpate for position or anything. The conversation with various members of the staff was along the lines of "No baby yet? What's taking him so long?? When are you going to have this baby???" Between that and the hospital for NSTs, I was letting myself slide into that way of thinking – that something is so WRONG with me or the baby. And it just feeds my fears.
Don't get me wrong, I like my OB well enough – she's a neat lady and far more granola than most. But the bottom line? The standard of allopathic maternity care SUCKS in this country. At some point we really need to stop putting up with it. I'm glad my girls are witness to the fact that there ARE alternatives.)
I was a little annoyed with myself for caving on the cervix check (this was the first one I requested this pregnancy), but I wanted some idea of favorability well before my OB appointment on Friday. As it turns out, I am 2 cm, 60% effaced. Cervix is anterior and baby is 0 station. I was thinking about starting cohoshes today, but after getting the cervix data… nah. My body still has some work to do before this boy is coming out. And there just doesn't seem to be any valid reason yet to rush this.
With that said, based on my past labors where I have very long early labor stages (12+ hours) just getting to 6 cm and 100% effaced, my midwife suggested that I may just have the type of labors where I go into labor at 2 cm and early labor does the rest of the work. It makes for long labors, which sucks being me, but still it's a perfectly normal, healthy pattern.
She also suggested that one reason for all of this is because I generally have a long cervix and it takes awhile to get prepped for birth. She was like, that is NOT a bad thing. You have healthy uterine tissue! 
I just love her. She's so nurturing without even trying. 
Anyway, I was glad I had the cervix check. It definitely made me stop expecting labor to start any moment which is good for my sanity.
Overall the midwife was so reassuring about my health, about Jake's health – reminding me of all the stuff I KNOW intellectually, but just needed to hear (40 weeks is arbitrary number, readiness for birth is a developmental milestone; not all babies are ready on the exact same day, etc.). He's still pretty darn active – he was rolling around and kicking like crazy when she was measuring me, checking heart tones, etc. She said, I don't need NST graphs to tell me this baby is doing very okay right now. (Yes, I feel the same way!)
Oh, and this is a COOL thing! Every once in awhile in the last month or so, I notice this funny little pulsing movement. It's VERY quick and measured – and you can see it through my belly. Ever notice that with your in utero babes? I've said to DH a couple times, "WHAT is this movement? So weird – it's almost like feeling him breathe."
Well, turns out it IS breathing. Not real breathing of course but practice breath movements. The baby was doing it last night while my midwife was palpating for position. She said that is a REALLY good sign of health/readiness – they look for that on ultrasound when doing BPPs and if he does it, it's like 2 points in his favor kind of thing. 
It's so neat when he's doing that and I can lay my hand on his back and watch it rise and fall with his little practice breaths. I feel very connected to him during those times and can imagine what it will be like when he is (finally) out.
So that's where I'm at. Feeling better mentally than I have in days. Thinking about my blessings and counting them. Happy. After all, Jake's birth day gets closer every day that goes by, right? 
PS: I'm 10 days past my due date, I reserve the right to have a mood swing back into craptastic at any moment…
Pregnancy: Week 41
Last week at this time, I thought there was a very good chance that I'd be holding my baby and doing the one-handed typing thing by THIS week at this time.
No such luck. On the labor/birth front, I have absolutely nothing to report.
This boy, he sure is getting strong! Even though his activity is becoming somewhat constrained in there, sometimes his movements are so strong that I'm startled by his painful wallops.
Scott's mama gets in today for her extended visit. (It's also her birthday today and everyone here was kind of wondering if Jake would be born today, too. Not looking good.) After my groceries are delivered (have I ever mentioned that Safeway delivers here? Life saver!!), I'm going to make some black bottom cupcakes to celebrate and we have birthday dinner plans early this evening, before settling down and calling it an early night with school starting tomorrow.
I don't think at ALL that I've subconsciously been holding Jake in or anything – in fact, his birth anytime in the past two weeks would have been LOADS more convenient on various levels. However, now that we're about to get back into the school swing, it's a big relief to me that Karen will be here to help with the kids during labor/birth and those earliest newborn days.
So in terms of readiness? I'm ready. R E A D Y. However, I will be MOST ready after the girls have their first successful day of school behind them. To that end, I anticipate labor will probably start late Monday, at the earliest. If it gets much later than that, it gets a little rougher. I have a midwife appointment scheduled for Wednesday and I will probably instigate some mild, home-induction techniques (sweeping membranes, homeopathics, maybe cohoshes) to try and jumpstart this thing if I'm still pregnant at that time. Otherwise I fear I'm facing a lot more pressure from my doctor as I approach 42 weeks. By the way, have I mentioned that my doctor is 36 weeks pregnant? Eek.
Pregnancy progress: Delivery stats
Week Days Chance
28 189-196 1:625
29 196-203 1:625
30 203-210 1:525
31 210-217 1:240
32 217-224 1:240
33 224-231 1:240
34 231-238 1:115
35 238-245 1:58
36 245-252 1:39
37 252-259 1:22
38 259-266 1:11
39 266-273 1:5
40 273-280 1:3½
41 280-287 1:5 2/3
42 287-294 1:12
43 294-301 1:34
44 301-308 1:74
>> Source (click to see data charted)
Advice for Mother at the Time of Birth
From Spiritual Midwifery:
Don't complain, it makes things worse. If you usually complain, practice not doing it during pregnancy. It will build character.
I read this a couple days ago, and I keep thinking about it. I'm generally a good sport, but I could certainly complain a LOT less. Especially if a more graceful/gracious demeanor will facilitate a somewhat faster labor, seeing as both of my past labors were 17+ hours and involved lots of complaining.
I'm over halfway through this book now. I can't believe I'm on my fourth pregnancy and this is the first time I've read it!
I wish I would have sooner. I'm actually finding it quite transformative when it comes to some mental roadblocks. I thought I had my healing birth when I had my third baby at home, in the water, but I see I still have issues to work through.
What I am learning particularly is how I have so much responsibility for setting the tone and mood for my birth. What I can do to ease the experience for myself and my baby rather than simply rely on superhuman support from my spouse and other birth attendants. I took the huge step two births ago to lose my reliance on technology, but I still didn't completely get it.
I read my previous birth stories and they are just filled with anger and frustration. Not with the pain so much as the slow progress I made in spite of all the pain. How counterproductive. I suspect I made things longer and harder on myself because of these issues.
So this book is helping me adjust my attitude and expectations tremendously. I didn't expect to like it so much. I picked it up at just the perfect time. Inspiring.
Mom to 4 kids and 2 stepkids, I am a writer writing in the heart of chaos. I am the co-founder and former editor of 
