Betsy Bailey

A with his new guitar

Seemingly out of the blue in January, my stepson A (age 14) decided he wanted to learn guitar.

Since he started taking a guitar class at his middle school, we have really been impressed with his dedication and improvement in skills! He really does seem to be committed and passionate about this. It's fun to see a formerly somewhat grumpy teen having so much fun and showing this much enthusiasm for something.

So he'd been playing Scott's electric guitar to practice on at our house, sans amp. It's worth about $1200 so no way he's being given this one, nor is it even allowed to go back to his mom's or to school or friends' houses, etc.

To that end, we started discussing getting him his OWN guitar that he can transport according to his desires and after doing some research found that you can get a pretty good quality electric in the $300 range. Research also indicated that it was important to get a guitar that the CHILD thinks if fun to play, otherwise they are more likely to lose interest.

So we had A research various makes and models and write the pros/cons of his top 3 picks. Scott also researched and suggested a few others that A might consider. Lots of emails flying back and forth with links, etc. (what a great exercise this all turned out to be in being a smart consumer! He read tons of reviews and whittled down his initial list – based mainly on what the guitar looked like – to several intelligent choices based on quality, value and construction, with looks further down on the list of considerations).

And the bonding, oh the bonding. He loves to talk about guitar.

Last weekend we took him to a guitar store to try out his picks.

At first, he was leaning towards the Schecter Omen 6 Electric Guitar. My goodness, it is stunningly beautiful, too. The photos do not do justice to that gorgeous, intense indigo color.

But then he held this Ibanez (RG3EXQM1 Quilted Maple Top Electric Guitar) in his hands. Then that was ALL he had eyes for.

This guitar apparently has really high quality pickups, designed for lots of the metal distortion A so loves. What he especially loved about it was smooth, fast, narrow neck – none of the guitars he was considering in the $300 price range were made that way. The sales guy personally felt A would probably be better off with the very popular Schecter – more versatile, not as metal oriented. That comment made Scott and me also lean that way, but in the end we let A make the final decision.

We ended up getting him a guitar he LOVED that was initially out of his price range, but was on sale for $239, so he came in well under budget. Everyone is happy.

Awestruck

His little sis, Mir, was MOST impressed by his skill. And she loved the little guitar lesson he offered tonight. A 14 year old boy doesn't have much common ground with a 7 year old stepsister. It was sweet to see them connect like they did tonight.

The guitar lesson

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Show us something weird that's on your desk.
Submitted by Alex. 

Does it really get any weirder than this?

That would be an AcuLight Expansion Screw Key – two of 'em even – which the orthodontist provided for use with HM's and Mir's palate expanders (which where installed yesterday morning).

Every other day for six weeks I have to insert the key in the tiny hole in their expanders, turning the screw one-half turn. So far, I have done this once per child and both times the key slipped out of the screw and – with some force – I ended up jamming that skinny piece of metal into the roof of their mouths!!!

My poor babies. I felt awful the first time, when I did this to HM. And I was oh-so-careful with Mir, afraid of doing the same thing again… and then I did it – AGAIN! No lasting damage. A small scrape. But geez, they are already so uncomfortable getting used to this appliance in their mouths. My poor babies.

Now I'm terrified about my next attempt! I can't believe there are even any issues – after all I had one of these myself when I was an adult (and did my own expanding). The key NEVER slipped out. WTF? I guess it's because the mechanisms are new and stiff? I hope this doesn't happen again.

Anyway, they're both talking funny and eating around them is no joy as they try to re-learn swallowing without access to the roof of their mouths (amazingly tricky until you get the hang of it!).

But the good news is: They can't suck their thumbs! Hopefully 10 months of that will break them of the habit well and forever.

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Work: Lots of projects and deadlines. I need to get more done, faster. This entry is not helping. But all the little stuff I've been wanting to post about has been intruding on my focus, so blogging right now is actually good for the big work picture. Yep. It's true.

Health: Most of the kids are sick with a cold, one which Scott and I are desperately begging our immune systems to repel. I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant. Food sounds good again. Haven't felt the baby move yet, but hoping I will notice it any day now. My energy levels have improved over the past few weeks, except I'm draining the reserve as quickly as it replenishes, because…

Evenings: Have been hell. Neurofeedback or orthdontist or parent teacher conferences were scheduled EVERY NIGHT for the past TWO weeks. And some days, there have ALSO been daytime doctor appointments. I'm a sloth. My body and my psyche are not used to this treatment. Thankfully a more normal routine is set to commence next week.

Good news: For the past three years, HM's teachers have recommended her for the school district's gifted program. She just tested again (CogAT) last week and this time she qualified with a 95th percentile score in verbal reasoning (that's my girl!). She's been wanting to participate in this program – it's a full day, once per week – so she's pretty excited and proud of herself.

More good news: I think B's neurofeedback sessions are making a difference! Even her younger sisters have been observing positive behavior changes. She seems to have more energy, is more alert, more confident, more peaceful and calm. She doesn't mumble as much and she seems to hear/listen with less effort than before.

B commented the other day, when she was coming down with this cold, that even though she felt miserable that day, she felt like she could handle her schoolwork. Usually she struggles to cope with her schoolwork even when perfectly healthy. Then today I reminded her to take her medicine before school and she said, "I really don't think I need it today." Hmmm. I let her go without it – will be interesting to see how she felt today.

Of course, time will tell exactly how these changes impact her performance in math, but I'm optimistic. She has a lot of catching up to do, but she's always been bright, in spite of the ADHD fog, and she works hard.

My amazing husband: CupCate's wifey entry has inspired me to blog a little public husband appreciation. The last couple weeks, with so much work and so many late nights and schedule juggling to make the appointments work out – and all the stress that goes along with that – well, it's been as hard on my boy as it's been on me. But he's hugged me lots and lots when I was grumpy, had dinner all but ready several nights when we got home after 7 pm and has just generally been there for me in all kinds of ways big and small. He's always like that, but he did try extra hard, especially this past week.

And he never, ever treats me or talks about me like "the ball and chain" (even when I'm acting like it). He says I'm his wife like he's honored by the association.

Deciding to grow old with him is the best idea I ever had. (He'll point out it was his idea first and that's true, so technically I suppose I should say it's the best idea I ever consented to.

My man is the best.

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What a busy (expensive!) month we have shaping up in January.

First, a new baby. A new baby 7 years after the last one, at that. I have NOTHING. Starting all over again. I think I’m relatively a minimalist when it comes to baby gear (will skip the whole nursery thing completely – baby will cosleep at least the first 9-12 months), but still, one needs maternity clothes, baby clothes, car seats and other essentials. Fortunately, we have months to save and plan for most of those needs. I’ll need maternity clothes soon, but I work from home – that helps!

Plus there’s the midwifery care. Insurance won’t cover. Long story. Prenatal care (and the monthly payments) with my midwife starts in mid-January.

Teeth. Then, two of my daughters (ages 6 and 9) require orthodontia. Crossbites, both of them, and my six year old has a scary open bite (it looks a lot like this). In January we will begin their treatment… both of them are signed up for palate expanders and an interesting device called a bluegrass appliance (that’s a picture of it on the right). The bluegrass is soldered onto the palate expander, so it will be like one, integrated, appliance. Fun!

The bluegrass serves a twofold purpose: In theory it will help prevent any further thumbsucking (of course any seriously motivated child would not be deterred) and it retrains the tongue to lie in the proper, healthy position. I guess thumbsucking trained their tongues to do all the wrong things, which is bad for upper jaw alignment. Insurance pays for half of this.

Brain training: Lastly, we’re beginning neurofeedback treatments for my 10 year old – also in… January! She was diagnosed with ADHD – Inattentive Type when she was seven. She has been on Adderall since (currently XR 15mg). Over the past several years, with lots of extra tutoring in math, she’s been able to hold her own. But it’s not enough – at the 5th grade level she’s having a really hard time keeping up. She seems to KNOW the material (i.e, she can manage her homework just fine, if very slowly), but falls apart under testing pressure.

Neurofeedback – when it works – effects a permanent retraining of the brain. In her case, it will help her train her brainwaves to accelerate when she needs to be focused (something the Adderall does for her now, but she probably needs her dosage increased and we’re trying to avoid that). Neurofeedback practitioners claim an 80-90% success rate with ADHD kids. And it’s supposed to work specifically in a way that helps kids succeed in math.

What are the risks? Well, there is no evidence that the treatment causes harm. From my research, it appears there is no risk that she will be hurt by trying this. So the primary risk is financial. Insurance doesn’t pay for it. What controlled studies there are showing efficacy are small. The larger studies are anecdotal. The risk is that it won’t work for our daughter and we’ll be throwing our money (significant dollars!) away. We’re operating on the theory that the potential benefit is so great that it’s worth taking the risk of losing money.

Ideally, the way this will go is that we’ll see some small improvements after just a few sessions, which will make it easy to commit more money to it. It all becomes more complicated if it takes lots more sessions to see any improvement. Wish her luck!!