scott at Betsy Bailey

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Jake’s birth story from dad’s point of view

Day 0 — 03:36

Wakes up with some "more serious" contractions; wakes me up, too (not on purpose). I can't really get back to sleep, but I do get a bit more rest.

We spend the day running errands, including a "Non-Stress Test" (NST). This test ensures the baby is "healthy." No issues here, he's strong.

Day 1 — 20:00

Something's happening. "Soft" contractions 5 minutes apart. tries a glass of wine and lies down, but things don't slow down. She takes a "relaxing" shower.

Day 2 — 01:00

I call the midwife. I suspect she'll fall back asleep–it seems "like her" to me. Really, we are calling earlier than we need to, but I need the reassurance.

Day 2 — 02:00

I call the midwife. As I suspected: asleep. It's O.K., we have time.

Day 2 — 02:35

Midwife shows up. Essentially tells she needs to get some rest. tries, doesn't do a great job, but the midwives (the helper showed up, too) and I got a few hours of "rest."

Day 2 — 05:00ish?

It's the start of a long morning. tries to get "comfortable" in different places; generally no, luck.

Worth ALL the work

Day 2 — 10:00ish?

is DONE. She thinks she's ready to go to the hospital for an epidural. I go talk to the midwives. I think she just needs a pep-talk.

We talk it over, is tired, tired, tired. Midwife makes a joke about Starbucks; but this gets me thinking "OK, yeah, diet Coke has caffeine! Maybe that will make a difference?". I go get her a diet Coke.

Midwives do a cervix check to see "where we're at". 4-5 cm, closer to 4 than 5. I was woried this would be a mental set back, but it wasn't.

[NOTE: One of the midwives later suggests mothers may need to get this worn out to enable their bodies to relax. Interesting idea and their might be some merit to it.]

Day 2 — 10:25

It's enough and we are back on track, all discussion of hospitals the done. From here on out it's rock/swivel (in the office chair), walk, pee, repeat.

Day 2 — 12:40

gets in the tub to "relax". She's there for about 1.5 hours before the midwives begin to suggest she does something else. It takes a half hour more before she's convinced.

Day 2 — 14:50

stands up in the tub to "see what happens", I support her. She begins to have a few harder contractions. They come a little closer together.

The Birth Partner, Second Edition

Penny Simkin

Day 2 — not keeping track of time anymore

We walk and walk around on the bathroom tile (it's a huge bathroom; huge; really big) until her water breaks. The "waters" are clear: good sign. I refill the tub (the tub is fairly large, also). Then we walk a little more. Then has another cervix check, but things aren't progressing so well, so they do the check DURING a contraction. Yuck, looks uncomfortable. We rest a little on the bed, then all of a sudden the boy is crowning. We get in the tub (me first, then ; I am holding her such that she is secure: head above water and with my knees to press on) and not 10 minutes later has the little guy in her arms.

That's the story, from my point of view.

I left a few things out, things like eating and drinking (I made sure always had something to drink and brought her snacks as frequently as I could get her to eat them) and trips to the toilet (of which made many).

This experience was amazing — I would not want to do it any other way. We ate and dank when we wanted and had the wonderful comforts of our home. This is where healthy babies of healthy moms are meant to be born!

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin is one heck of a useful book for either parent. After reading it, I was generally educated enough to be comfortable "doing my part" (which of course was very little).